Atheistic concerns...

Ever felt like people had the picture of you that was just not true?...

I really thought that i'd never face this scenario and it was more apt for those hard hitting movies detailing the life of a homosexual.. My earliest memories of this topic was those ol'movies in your childhood that you felt, at that time, based on a bogus scenario where there was a simple answer to the entire movie where the plot got twisted and turned just cuz the protagonist did not go ahead and profess the truth the first chance he/she got..

Now.. I find myself in a similar, but not-so-complicated-as-the-movie scenario of my own.. Everyone around me.. everyone I care for... have some sort of religion/idea of god that they relate to.. I on the other hand.. dont...

I find the concept of God and religion kinda like those products shown on late night tv.. claimed as revolutionary and ground breaking, but to get you to buy one, they will throw in a huge bunch of extra goodies for free.. Why something revolutionary or ground breaking cant sell itself without the need of hard selling sales people, i can never understand...

So, I have my reservations of religion and God and I understand that many people I know, who don't have/share the same.. I do not have the position that they are wrong and I am right.. but.. my position is based on what I see around.. it is hard for me to take that 'leap of faith' and "believe"..

What makes this position even harder is the fact that it goes against the 'values' that have been taught to me.. I am in essence the lost sheep that we were so often told about during catholic classes..

I still remember by mother concerned about my lack of church attendance..My teenage laziness had more to do with that one than my current religious position.. But I still remember the amusing question my mother once asked me.. "Son... Do you worship the devil??".. My shock was only overshadowed by my amusement!.. I was a fit of laughter and eventually when I finally was able to speak.. comforted my mom to drive away her fears..

I guess when I look back I can see how my mother felt the way she did.. my sudden love for rock music and experimentation with heavy metal and the coincidental arrival of my 5.1 surround sound music system.. it did result in sundays being not so.. er.. pious.. I was all in awe about rock.. I always wanted to be the rebel.. the only problem however was that I had very little to rebel against.. so.. for those 3-5 mins of the song.. i would imagine that I had a 'cause' and rock my brains out... now.. I am more content with the occasional head bangs and the cough inducing singing of a couple of words.. any more of those.. and I sound really husky (or.. some might say more like guy hitting puberty) and suffer from a fidgety neck for the rest of the day..

I have now evolved/de-evolved to a guy who would be glad to hear any good music thats new (seems like it gets rarer and rarer now)..

Moving back to the original topic

(You will see me stick to the topics now.. thanks N for the critical review that my blogs are like written diarrhoea that starts off with a purpose but shoots out with no control and direction in the end :) )

My current dilemma of me being, for all facts and purposes, an atheist/agnostic..

My problems are two fold:

First is with some of my deeply religious friends.. who seem to shoot off things such as I stand with Israel or post videos of how a science has no option than agree with the fact of God's presence due to un-deniable facts scattered around us..

I cant help but feel irritated/annoyed on their public proclamations based on absolute garbage! Now, I do feel that each is entitled to his/her position.. but if someone 'stands with Israel' cuz the bible mentioned Israel a couple of times and cannot come up with another real reason he loves Israel.. then.. well.. his idea is full of 'merde'.. Make no mistake.. If he did chip a line like.. I like their political system.. or.. the Israeli girls are 'haabaa haabaa'... sure.. I'd peg him on and probably support Israel myself... but.. to support a position based on occurrence of a country in a book instead of a real hard reason.. is something I cannot agree with...

Anyways.. moving on...

The second and more important one :

My parents coming to terms and my how I let them know...

I have always been a person who would stand up for a certain position if I genuinely feel is correct (ask my hapless roomies who i've kept awake until 2am arguing and discussing my position when they accidentaly mentioning something I could not agree with).. Needless to say.. the consequent lousy mornings at work have resulted in dinners now sticking to politically correct topics..

So this 'aspect' of me has resulted in me faced with a situation I worry about.. Christmas will be soon upon us.. and.. this time.. christmas will be with family.. so I wonder...

Will I stand up for what I believe in... or will I be in church at the un-earthly hour of midnight.. listening to my mother telling me that I should have combed my hair.. then have my brother grinning away since he did see me comb my hair for the past half an hour.. shiver in the cold and "pray" that the mass finishes quickly... enjoy the company of family huddling together in the cold.. smile as we shiver in unison.. nudge my brother and control our laughter when things go wrong at mass.. and gladly open the parking gates so that we can quickly park and get to bed...

or.. should I put my foot down and stay at home...

Something tells me I will be packing extra woollens this chirstmas...

Funny how a blog can give you the reasons your reason to do something....

Rants of a random kind

Hello Blog-o-world!

I seem to have this uncanny knack of suddenly remembering the joys of blogging when I see someone else's nicely written blog. All of a sudden it dawns to me that I love to write and always am brimming for an outlet for all of my ideas. Funny enough, life has a funny way of making other stupid things seems horribly more important.

Looking back the blog-less times I had for more than half a year now, I realise that I have been actually trying to de-politicise my life! I tried to toe in the line of "I do not wanna care and I just wanna have fun!!". Sure enough, life has a funny way of showing you what you truly love. Ever since school, I've been a largely political animal. Sharing a keen interest in all things political. I ended up being picked up for a debate just because I decided to ask some hard hitting questions at a measly school debate competition. Of a lot of things that has happened during this peroid of blog inactivity, I have found myself drawn in and again to the political world that so surrounds us! What I found disturbing was the fact that suddenly, it was a whole bunch of stupid ideas floating around that seemed to be getting a lot of attention!

Sadly our world is an imperfect. No surprise there since my vision of perfection is someone else's vision of chaos! But by and large, most people want to have a relaxed life. They don't want to be drawn into the complexities of the whole political drama and just want a position where they can simple chose between a yes and a no. To know the facts needed to answer that yes or no question, they look towards some "intellectuals". Unfortunately for us, many of the so-called intellectuals are not so different from the lazy us. They go ahead and do what I did for my geography project... Google for information... Though not a bad tool, (since I did get good marks for my geography project :D )it does sometimes give you an imperfect picture. Another bunch of intellectuals (the scary ones) are the guys who have the nasty habit of distorting truth and painting a very different picture to what really is out there to suit their needs.

It is these people, who have infected my poor lazy soul. So much infact, that it rose from its comfortable slumber and decided to take the path that it swore not to. The path of having a political opinion based on facts.

Debating always was a joy for me. It resembles a nice little chess game, where we outwit the opponent. Unlike chess however, this is not a game of set pieces. Here, your kill is made on the basis of ground crushing facts and honest questions that have the lethality of an atomic bomb. Nothing truly stands against it in a fair world. However, ours is not a fair world. The atomic weapon can many-a-times be neutralized with muck! Muck seems to have this wonderful, short-circuiting property of misdirecting you in such a way that instead of launching an attack tho break the back of your opponent, you are stuck dodging and defending your personal honour.

The best example for me, has been Mr. Shashi Tharoor. Unfortunately, for him, he always finds himself in the middle of all sorts of controversies, that quite honestly, are cooked up in the strangest pots and the have ingredients coming from the rear ends of indigested cows!

The one thing that eludes me, is how do we dodge muck and launch that atomic weapon? I might not know it for now, but I am going to find out for myself in the best place that a modern, thoughtful man can find.... er... internet forums... :D

Before you criticize me for being lazy, let me warn you. Though I might be in my warm and cozy room typing away, internet boards can be the toughest place to convince someone. People here, are excellent at misquoting and lifting all sorts of "proofs" out of context. Winning in these debates, takes more than a single man's effort. Such is the data and muck presented!

So wish me luck! I intend to get down and dirty! To be able to look at both sides of the fence, and deducing the truth by myself...

A leaving quote for those interested in debates. A very very useful one in case you have a horrible one sided topic and you have no choice but defend your case..

"If you cant dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them by your bullshit!"

As always, please excuse me for the horrible grammar and the spelling.. :D